Mid Season

August.  9:36pm.  Whenever I think of August the first thing that crosses my mind is the palette of late summer sunsets.  The heat crosses the midwest, the grass dries to a golden shade, and wisteria colored clouds accented with gray float across the sky.  August has always been one of my favorite months.  It's also just about mid wedding season & shit is pretty real.  Every weekend is truly so beautiful, filled with incredible clients and a cooler packed with seasonal beauty.  And I become absolutely exhausted.  This happens every year, it's nothing new and certainly nothing I dislike.  Actually, I like when my seasonal energy low comes on strong, because it forces me to sit back for a moment and reflect.  Regularly I try to give consideration to where I'm at in life.  Why am I making the decisions that I am, where is the drive coming from?  Is it ego or well meant behavior?  Did I sleep well the night before or am I tired?  I used to do this once a month or so, and now it's almost a daily practice typically in the mornings or evenings - once all the non stop of the boutique and weddings have slowed down.  The last two years since moving the shop have not been easy.  We doubled in size, staff grew, systems changed and not every path has been pleasant.  But these days when I'm so tired and I sit back and think about the months gone by - not knowing exactly what's ahead, & it makes me realize how good things really are.

I used to write a lot more personal posts in the Fleur journal.  Lately there hasn't really been any time.  I've been running around so much that the thought of even writing anything at all was stressful, which is a shame because we have some really gorgeous photos to share.  I'm bringing the behind the scenes post back.  Because even though Fleur is becoming the brand I had always dreamt it would, it's nice to know the thoughts behind everything.  There are still so many things I want to accomplish.  

This past summer my husband and I tried to buy a tiny little lakeside cottage with lots of land for growing flowers. Flowers for FLEUR.  It all started out so easy, we couldn't believe it.  Turns out, there were a couple complications and after two months we withdrew our offer.  Admittedly I was crushed (although I only became slightly teary eyed for a couple of minutes). I had an entire business plan written out, drawings of flowerbeds were made and the seed searching had begun.  When something isn't meant to be, it just isn't.  And what I really learned is that I had fallen in love with the thought of growing flowers.  Reconnecting.  And what I really saw was how much I needed to rediscover the mystery in the flowers that I work with every single day.  I had lost my love for flora because I was always behind the computer, scanning papers and all that crap.  What an incredible moment to realize I missed my medium and just wanted it back.

I don't know, this is a bit of a ramble.  I can't wait for what's ahead.  I am SO excited for all of the events booked, the plans we have to remodel the boutique (um.., tile).  I mean, it's been 14.5 years of Fleur, and it's TRULY become the brand I have always dreamed of but never really thought could happen.  Hell, I didn't even think it would be around this long!  I'm running two businesses:  A brick and mortar gift boutique that is growing quickly and an event design studio where are weddings are more and more beautiful.  Managing and tasking and staffing these two elements that overlap but are completely different is insanely tricky.  But I love it.  

I'm traveling to New York for the second time this year to check out some of my favorite flower shops and attend a gift show so the boutique can expand it's gift lines.  Every single wedding we are booking is more and more beautiful.  Our clients are stylish, sincere and kind.  Our boutique guests are fun, inquisitive & we learn so much from them.  This October I'll be teaching at the Hope Flower Farm in Virginia alongside some designers whom I have admired for years (no, seriously, I am a fan girl of them).  We're still searching for that little lakeside cabin with plenty of room for planting, and hope on offering a space for our friends and guests to visit and enjoy and relax.  And in the meantime I learned all about gardening in our own little backyard in the city - learning about culinary floral and combining my two favorite things - flowering and making meals.

Really I want to thank August.  For reminding me that it's okay to feel tired for a minute but then you just get back and own it all over again.  Because it's all good, and Fleur is full of growth.  Fleur has become a lifestyle for me, and hopefully inspiring for all of you.  We want to keep things simple, full of curiosity, ready for entertaining those you love and slowing down a little.  Thank you August, for reminding me to take that advice a little bit too.  Great things and good vibes are all ahead.